Being WITH Someone [Reflections & Prayer]
We all take stances on a variety of topics & issues. You may have heard similar statements. I “support” X. I am in “favor” of Y. I am “for” Z. But despite our best efforts and all of our good intentions, being “for” something or someone is not the same as being “with” someone.
I am reading the book “Crimson Letters: Voices from Death Row” by Tessie Castillo. Even though I am only two chapters in (The prologue and chapter 1), I already feel this book moving me. It’s moving me on an intellectual, emotional, and a spiritual level.
So this reflection was based on a tinge of guilt I encountered while reading those two chapters. I am not even sure if “guilt” is the right word for what I was feeling. But it’s the best word I have for it at this time. Politically I support prison reform. I do not support the death penalty and the entire concept of privatized prisons just seems very bizarre to me. I share this not to make any particular policy claim (though I am unafraid to do so another time), but instead to provide insight and context to my reflection and prayer.
I was confused by this “guilt” because “on paper” my conscious is clear based on the policies I support. I do not support the death penalty so why did I feel a tinge of “guilt”.
I shared my confusion and initial reflections with a friend, Kolby, whom I am reading this book with. He was immediately able to put to words what my thoughts and feelings have been wrestling with.
Being “for” something/someone is different than being “with”.
Through this Reflection & Prayer time, I navigate the “objectification” of others. Because that’s what became clear. Being “for” something/someone (and leaving it at that) is NOT the same as being with. My guilt was not based on action or inaction. We are allowed to support different policies and leave it at that - that’s okay. My guilt was based on the realization that I thought supporting something was on the same level as being with someone. And in order to get to that conclusion - there is a level of objectification that occurs.
Here me out - there are times where we need to "be objective”. We need to do this to function in life and to bring about good, positive, change. The difference is that the decision to be objective needs to be a conscious and intentional effort. When being “objective” becomes the default, that’s when we risk forgetting what being human is about.